Friday, March 03, 2006

Geography teacher's leftist rant...transcripts

By popular request...

We here at the Crush Liberalism Objective World News Service (CLOWNS) have obtained a copy of the transcribed tapings of the notorious leftist high school geography teacher in Aurora, Colorado. Here is a portion of what is on the tapes:
Student: Mr. Bennish, I forgot...what's the capital of Brazil?

Bennish: Capital? The oppressive tool of the robber barons? You'll forgive me if I abstain from answering your neo-imperialistic question. Next!

Student: Mr. Bennish, I was wondering why the weather is warmer on one side of the Alps as opposed to the other, cooler side?

Bennish: Simple...Bushitler McRummyburton won't sign Kyoto! Next!

Student: Why do certain Arab groups live in the desert, despite the lack of readily available water or food?

Bennish: Because Bush gave the ports to the UAE. Haven't you learned a damned thing in this class? Next!

Student: Is it true that most of the year, ANWR is like a giant sheet of ice in a deep freeze?

Bennish: What, are you itching to rape the pristine ecosystem to further enrich Chimpy's oil buddies? Maybe we can ask our illegitimate president if he is going to club the baby seals, or if he'll let Dick Cheney "accidentally" shoot them in a drunken stupor? Next!

Student: Mr. Bennish, how does the Florida Gulf Stream affect the weather in south Florida?

Bennish: By disenfranchising Jewish elderly women in Palm Beach and Broward Counties, that's how! Sure, they can navigate 57 simultaneous bingo cards, but give them a butterfly ballot, and the next thing you know, they'll be "accidentally" voting for Pat Buchanan! Damned neo-cons! asked about the Gulf Stream?!

Student: Mr. Bennish, I was wondering if you could tell us about the Dust Bowl?

Bennish: It's the dinner that American's poor have to force themselves to eat, thanks to Bush's tax cuts for the rich! Next!

Student: Sir, does it ever rain in the Sahara?

Bennish: It rains there very day, in the hearts of the AIDS-ravaged nomadic tribes there...dying because America is too stingy with global AIDS money! Racist bastards! Oops, times up. Tomorrow's geography quiz on Das Kapital...see you then!
CLOWNS...doing the job of the MSM! :-)