Wednesday, December 15, 2004

"Ohio Recount Resembles Florida in 2000"

That's the headline blared by the AP today. For Heaven's sake, aside from staring at punchcards, there is absolutely nothing about Ohio that mimics Florida in 2000...not to mention the convincing 119,000+ votes that Bush defeated Kerry by in Ohio.

No, the massah poverty pimp himself, Jesse Jackson, is now accusing the electronic voting manufacturer of rigging machines for Bush. Uh-huh...whatever. Go back to knocking up women you're not married to and paying them off, Jesse.

Try to stifle laughter as you read this excerpt from the AP:

Jackson said activists noticed Bush generally received more votes in counties that use optical-scan voting machines, raising suspicions that the machines were calibrated to record votes for the president. The AP is actually trying to pass this off as a serious charge. Well, OK...fine. I have a theory about this. See if you can follow me, since it's not too hard:

The reason that Bush "generally received more votes in counties that use optical-scan voting machines" may be that Bush -- are you sitting down for this nutty theory? -- actually GOT more people to vote for him than Kerry got to vote for him. Isn't that how states are usually decided? The most votes in that state wins the state? Considering that Bush lost very few of the battleground states, and that he picked up New Mexico and Iowa (states he lost in 2000), and that the only state he lost from his 2000 column was New it really that hard to accept that Bush simply got more votes than did Kerry?

Then again, if you're a liberal, that is one statement of fact that you can never accept. How ironic, though, for liberals! These same people acted like Gore's 500,000 popular vote win in 2000 was decisive (less than 1% higher than Bush), and the Electoral College was outdated...yet now, Bush's 3.3 million votes (and full 3% more popular votes) more than Kerry is a "close" election, and Kerry needs to shoot for Ohio to deny Bush's Electoral College win! What a difference one race makes!