Federal judge finds new right in Constitution: right to have a Serta!

I thought I was well acquainted with the Constitution, but I apparently was mistaken. From UPI (hat tip to Jason at Generation Why?):

Los Angeles County faces tens of millions of dollars in damages for bedding thousands of prisoners on mattresses on concrete floors.

The practice violates the Constitution and is symptomatic of serious problems in the crowded, riot-torn jail system, a federal judge tentatively ruled Monday.

I'm recalling my American history course at FSU, when we were studying about the Bill of Rights, and I vaguely remember something about "A firm mattress on a frame with boxsprings, being necessary for the survival of the republic, the right of the people to maintain Sertas shall not be infringed." Wait...no, that was a different lifetime in a parallel universe. My bad.

California...go figure.