Schumer worries Alito not committed to diversity

SATIRE ALERT! Schumer may indeed be worried about that, but this is a brilliant work of satire by Scrappleface:

Sen. Charles Schumer, D-NY, today questioned Judge Samuel Alito's commitment to diversity noting that the Supreme Court nominee’s last name is 60 percent vowels and only 40 percent consonants.

In perhaps the most substantive critique of President George Bush's nominee to date, the senator also noted that the federal appeals court judge's full name contains every vowel, but a disproportionately small percentage of consonants.

"Not only is Judge Alito's name too vowel-heavy for mainstream Americans," said Sen. Schumer. "But 'Alito' begins and ends with vowels, suggesting that vowels are the alpha and omega of the alphabet, and clearly denigrating the contribution of consonants to our society."

For the record, we know that Schumer is committed to diversity. After all, he was partly responsible for the unauthorized and stolen credit report of a black Republican.