"Torture" tactics which yield information

In order to make this Islamic terrorist talk, a number of tactics were used, including:

• Daily interviews that sometimes began at 4 a.m. and continued until midnight. I went through a similar sleep-deprivation phase in my life. It was called "college"! Damn, I should have called Amnesty International! Hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it?
  
• He was asked to bark like a dog. Well, when I have too many tequila sunrises, I wind up barking like a dog...then barfing like a liberal the day Kerry conceded.
  
• He was shown pictures of the 9/11 attacks. How dare we show him the carnage that he wrought?
  
• He was asked to write letters of apology to the families of 9/11 victims. Hopefully, he wasn't allowed to use the pencil or pen as a weapon against his infidel captors.
  
• Refusal of bathroom breaks, resulting in al-Qahtani...well, uh...you know..."doing #1" in his orange jumpsuit. Is it me, or am I the only one thinking "Just answer the question, you savage, and we'll let you go tinkle"? Is he scarred for life now? I hope so...
  
• Interrogators awoke him with Christina Aguilera music at midnight to start the questioning. While that borders on torture, we would have just crossed the damned line if we blared Yoko Ono instead!
  
• A female interrogator violated his personal space! What I wouldn't give for a female interrogator to violate my personal space! "Come on...PLEASE! I've been a bad widdle camel jockey! I deserve a spanking!

Other methods included standing for prolonged periods of time (think "I need tickets to a David Hasselhoff concert, Ahmed! I'm NOT getting out of this line!), removal of clothing (we normally do that before the novel Western ritual of bathing), forced shaving of facial hair, and hanging pictures of half-naked women around his neck (now that is torture...just how is he supposed to spank the camel if he can't see the picture?).

Forgive my insensitivity here, but he is a terrorist who was going to be one of the suicide airline jockeys. He wasn't some erroneously detained couscous dealer...he is a freakin' memeber of Al-Qaeda! For those of you in blue states, al Qaeda are those guys who want you, me, and our kids to DIE a violent death! He possessed information on future attacks, we needed him to talk, and he did...all without pain or physical torture (we may have "wounded his inner child", but something tells me it was destroyed a LONG time ago). So it worked.

We are engaged in a war for the survival of the United States. American lives are at stake and all the media and the left can do is carp about how uncomfortable we make a few Islamic terrorists at a prison camp. I used to think liberals were simply misguided. And while I still think that most of them are simply that, I think a growing cabal of leftists actually root for us to fail in our efforts to prevent another attack and to win the war on terror...because failure makes their monster George W. Bush look bad. To hell with America...we need Bush and the GOP to look bad because we might return to power, and we're willing to sacrifice American interests to achieve said power!

Not hard to see how that message doesn't exactly resonate with normal Americans, huh? I tell ya, nothing attracts a red-stater more to your party than your rooting against the country he loves dearly! That's almost as effective of a tactic as insulting his God and his values...almost.