Monday, July 11, 2005 victories

That could easily be the title of the shortest book ever written. But that is actually the name of a page on their site. While I don't make a habit of going to the moonabt site, I was alerted to a coupld of things that the granola-eating latte-gulping burlap-wearing treehugging Berkeley hippie retreads are up to. One is that they're trying to pass themselves off as mainstream (I'll address this later). The other is that they're declaring victories among things that no one in their right mind considers a victory. Among their purported "victories":

  • 36 Senators Object to Gonzales' Confirmation as Attorney General (January 2005)
    I don't know how to break this to them, but Gonzales was still confirmed. Bragging about the number of "no" votes in the minority is like getting your ass kicked by a bodybuilder and bragging that while he may have broken your arms and legs, he didn't break your nose.

  • MoveOn Members Help Provide Tsunami Relief (December 2004)
    This is rich. Everybody provided tsunami relief! These nutbars bragged that they sent to President Bush a petition to "offer whatever assistance is necessary to prevent further human suffering in the wake of the tsunami disaster." Now there's an original idea! Why, if not for the rocket scientists, nobody would have ever thought to do that! And who says liberals don't ever propose solutions, huh?

    However, claiming that the government's response to the tsunamis is directly tied to moonbat petitions is like me saying that mailing in my electric bill in January caused the Patriots to win the Super Bowl. After all, the Super Bowl was played after I mailed in my payment! In logic, we refer to this fallacy as post hoc, ergo propter hoc, which means "after this, therefore because of this." Libs usually make this fallacy often, such as "Bill Clinton was elected in 1992, and the economy began to improve in 1996. Therefore, Bill Clinton improved the economy." But I digress...

  • The "Federal Marriage Amendment" Stopped (July 2004)
    I can't look at this one without laughing. First of all, the amendment isn't dead. It's on hiatus. Secondly, I notice they neglected to mention that of 11 states that had anti-gay marriage amendments on their state constitution referendums in 2004, all 11 states passed said legislation. Would they have us believe that they made no attempts to stop these efforts in these states and only focused on the federal level? If that's the case, then they didn't do gay Americans any favors, did they? My guess is that they did try to stop these initiatives, but failed miserably, as they do at everything else they try.

  • The U.S. Senate Repudiated Torture (June 2004).
    Damn...I just knew the Senate was going to pass a resolution saying "Torture is cool...thank you, sir, may I have another?" In other huge news, the Senate repudiated cancer, death, and the premature cancelling of Gilligan's Island reruns on the TV Land network.

    What doesn't want you to know is that they have failed at every election they've gotten involved in. They also failed in their origin, which was to stop Bill Clinton's impeachment. Clinton was still impeached, so they were ineffective there, too. Their commercials comparing Bush to Hitler went over as well as a fart in church last year. Basically, these guys typify the losers that they are.