Poll: Most Americans are not IN Iraq

Great satire from Scrappleface:

Hours after a CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll revealed that fewer than half of respondents believe the U.S. can win the war in Iraq, a second survey showed that more than 99 percent of Americans are not in Iraq, and almost as many form opinions about the war based exclusively on what they learn from CNN, USA Today and other news organizations.

Of the 818 Americans telephoned by pollsters, according to an unnamed Gallup spokesman, roughly zero percent are currently stationed in Iraq, where about 150,000 U.S. troops spend their days providing security, hunting down terrorists, training Iraqi police and soldiers and rebuilding schools, water systems and other infrastructure elements.

Almost 97 percent of those surveyed answered "strongly agree" to the statement: "Every single thing I know about U.S. efforts in Iraq, I learned from news reports in the mainstream media."

Of those people, the vast majority said they believe U.S. troops spend their days "driving around in Humvees, trying to detonate improvised explosive devices with their tires."

A unnamed CNN reporter, stationed in a Green Zone hotel lounge in Baghdad, said the new surveys "simply reinforce what I've known for two years -- the war in Iraq is unwinnable. For some reason, America seems to have lost her will to fight for freedom."