Saturday, February 18, 2006

al Qaeda's bennies?

An in-depth look at the rather generous benefits package offered by our adversaries in the Global War on Terror. For those of you on the left, the adversaries are al Qaeda and NOT the United States. Sorry for any confusion.

Hey, al Qaeda might be a group of bloodthirsty Third World Dark Age barbarians, but they care about their employees! That's more than we can say about Wal-Mart, right?!?!? From Austin Bay:
Al Qaeda’s by-laws are fascinating. From the By-Laws document summary:
Al-Qa’ida must be prepared to wage jihad anywhere in the world, and not to be distracted by relief and aid operations. Al-Qa’ida must have no relation to the world of idols and secular and nationalist movements. Relations with non-jihadi Islamic groups should be respectful, but dedicated to pointing out their shortcomings and try to gain their support for jihad.

Lengthy job description is posted for the position of emir, his deputy, and other positions on the council. Of special interest is the position of the Executive Council Chairman who serves as a chief financial officer. His duties include control over bank accounts, expenditures, and budgeting. Salaries are paid according to a fixed schedule.

Policies are described for additional salary based on family size (married man receives 6,500 rupees with 700 rupees for each additional wife.) Provision is made for cost of living adjustments.

The document outlines medical, loan, furniture , vacation, disability, and severance benefits.
Sweet! If Cindy Sheehan ever runs afoul of her peeps at Code Pink and MoveOn, she can always enjoy a lucrative career at al Qaeda, Inc., considering that she considers them "freedom fighters." Her words, not mine. But hey...she's just a grieving mother, albeit it's an odd form of grieving to show solidarity to the savages that killed your child. But I digress.

Hey, wait a minute! An al Qaeda man gets another 700 rupees per additional wife? That oughta piss off the Mormons! (That's a joke, for any Mormons reading this).

Also, what "severance benefits"? Severing limbs, heads, etc.? Do they get to bequeath those severed items in the event of their untimely death?

Continuing:
On page 16 we discover Al Qaeda is for socialized medicine:

3- Medical Benefits
A- All (Al-Qa’eda) members can visit the medical staff and obtain medicine free
of charge.
Hey, check it out! Al Qaeda is for socialized medicine, much of the left is for socialized medicine...yet another thing they have in common! Finally:
The letters are snapshots of fanatics hellbent on evil. Here’s the WMD threat:
If the American people are ready to die as we are ready to die, then our combat groups along with our military, nuclear, and biological equipment will kill hundreds of thousands of people we don’t wish to fight.
And Kofi Annan wants Gitmo turned over to "the international community."
What? You mean that al Qaeda really does want to use WMD's against America? Why, that can't be...because that's the same thing that Bush said al Qaeda wanted to do! (For those of you on the left, this paragraph is sarcasm).

Again...little wonder that normal America doesn't trust the left with national defense?