Monday, July 17, 2006

U.N. Begins Lebanese Evacuation

Our crack investigative team here at the Crush Liberalism Objective World News Service (CLOWNS) has learned that DNC chief Howard Dean was preparing to address the Lesbian And Bisexuals In Action (or LABIA) in Berkeley about the situation, until his advisors asked begged him not to include the Lebanese evacuation segment.

Naturally, our dumpster divers investigative journalists found the discarded notes from Dr. Dean. The deleted comments are as follows:
We see that the UN phallocracy is caving in to the Boltonites by infringing on the rights of Lebanese everywhere to live as they see fit. I mean, asking them to evacuate their homes? That's just heartless. These are the places where they stroke their cats, enjoy a refreshing Busch, strap on their work ethic, clean their carpets, and handle their boxes on a daily basis...just like everyone else!

When is the persecution of the Lebanese going to stop? Can't we all just "live and let live"? What two grown, consenting Lebanese adults do behind closed doors is no one else's business, and the UN needs to respect that.
Fortunately for Dr. Dean, his new proofreader (an intern from the University of San Francisco) may have ignored the rest of the speech's moonbattery but did catch the "Lebanese" faux pas.

Would you expect this news to come from anyone else but CLOWNS?