Wednesday, September 13, 2006

"Don't blog!"

That seems to be the warning here, from one of Google's "How To of the Day" links. This one is entitled "How to Dissuade Yourself from Becoming a Blogger." I'm sure some of the readers here wish that I had seen this two years ago, when I first started. Alas, 'tis too late!
1. Find five completely random blogs, and read them daily for a month. After thirty days, you will absolutely dread your self-imposed requirement to read all that dreck. Any blog you create will most likely be on par with what you've been reading. Don't put anyone through that. (Hey, who WOULDN'T want to be put through my crap? That's rhetorical, people! - Ed.)

2. Consider that your voice, even if it is truly a good one, is a tiny peep against the massive wave of tripe out there. The odds of anyone you don't already know finding your blog are low. (Yet I've already ascended to three mentions in Slate and a mention on CBS News' Blogwire? Plus, only a handful of the commenters here are people I knew before I started this. Not bad for "no one's gonna find you!" - Ed.)

3. Write on a regular basis in Wordpad instead. If that doesn't satisfy your urge, and you feel that you must post your blog online, then you might just be craving attention (Busted! - Ed.) and validation --which you'll never truly find in a blog. (Like hell I won't! - Ed.) If you give up on your Wordpad journal after about three days, you'll do the same with a blog that just takes up server space.

4. Ask yourself if you really have the time to commit to a blog. (Sometimes, no way. - Ed.) What about that treehouse you wanted to build? Or the book you wanted to write? Or the car you wanted to fix up? Or the restaurant you wanted to take your wife to? Or the new career you wanted to pursue? Instead of writing about pretty much nothing (doesn't that sum up most of my writing? LOL! - Ed.), or whining about all the things you wish you were doing instead, start doing something that'd actually be worth writing about. And if it's really worth writing about, you'll be having too much fun doing it to tear yourself away from it. (If I didn't enjoy this, I wouldn't be doing it...which would undoubtedly make a number of trolls happy! - Ed.)

If attention and validation is what you're looking for, know that you will get neither from blogging. (I won't? - Ed.) As above, very few people will ever know that your blog (or you, by proxy) exists. (As above, I beg to differ. - Ed.) Of those who do find it, a large percentage will be flamers and trolls, who will only post comments to you about how you suck. (No disagreements there, as trolls and flamers certainly flare up on occasion, like a case of herpes! - Ed.) The remainder of comments posted to your blog will be sappy treacle, which you won't trust as being sincere anyway. (I won't? Well, I gullible or what? - Ed.)
Sorry, but try as I might, I can't dissaude myself out of the blogosphere quite yet. My apologies, friends and trolls, but you're stuck with me for the time being! :-D