Humorous and politically incorrect post of the day

Not related to politics, except that it's politically incorrect. Some of you have seen this, but for those who haven't, enjoy!

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
* 40-ish..................................49.
* Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.
* Athletic................................No breasts.
* Average looking.....................Moooo.
* Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.
* Emotionally Secure..................On medication.
* Feminist...............................Fat.
* Free Spirit.............................Junkie.
* Friendship first.......................Former Slut.
* New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.
* Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s
* Open-minded.........................Desperate.
* Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
* Professional..........................Bitch.
* Voluptuous...........................Very fat.
* Large frame...........................Hugely fat.
* Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH
* Yes.....................................No
* No.....................................Yes
* Maybe.................................No
* We need..............................I want
* I am sorry.............................You'll be sorry
* We need to talk......................You're in trouble
* Sure, go ahead.......................You better not
* Do what you want...................You will pay for this later
* I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
* You're attentive tonight............Is sex all you ever think about?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH
* Yes.....................................Yes
* No......................................No
* I am hungry......... ..................I am hungry
* I am sleepy............................I am sleepy
* I am tired..............................I am tired
* Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
* I love you..............................Let's have sex now
* I am bored.............................Do you want to have sex?
* May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.
* Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have sex with you.
* Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex with you.
* Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex with you.
* I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.