Utah Republican: Satan causes illegal immigration

Un-freakin'-believable. From KUTV:

If you really want to blame someone for trying to destroy the United States, point the finger at… Satan?

The devil, Lucifer… whatever you want to call it, one Utah Republican says it is he who is trying to bring the USA down.

And Satan’s apparent weapon of choice: Allowing illegal immigrants to cross the border.

According to The Salt Lake Tribune, Utah County District 65 Chairman Don Larsen has submitted a formal resolution to oppose the devil’s plan to destroy the country -- to be discussed this weekend at the Utah County Republican Convention.

“In order for Satan to establish his ‘New World Order’ and destroy the freedom of all people as predicted in the scriptures, he must first destroy the U.S.,” Larsen’s resolution states. “[It is] insidious for its stealth and innocuousness.”

Larsen’s proposal to defeat Satan? Close the borders to illegal immigrants to “prevent the destruction of the U.S. by stealth invasion.”

Dude, I'm with you on the illegal immigration and stealth invasion stuff, but you lost me on how that's Satan's fault. The Prince of Darkness isn't going to bring down America by war or pestilence or famine or anything like that. No, Beelzebub's weapon of choice is...illegal immigration.

Seriously...dude...shut up.