Trent Lott gets his old job back (sorta), plus a CLOWNS exclusive

From the Treason fishwrap:

Senator Trent Lott of Mississippi, who was driven from the Republican leadership four years ago after he made ill-considered remarks at a birthday party for Strom Thurmond, returned to the Senate’s top ranks today, winning election as minority whip in the next session by a single vote.

Mr. Lott won the post over Senator Lamar Alexander, who had predicted on Tuesday that he had enough support to win. The 49 Republicans who will make up the new Senate chose Mr. Lott by a vote of 25 to 24.

Mr. Lott, who turned 65 on Oct. 9, will be second in command to Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, who was unanimously elected to be minority leader in the next Senate. Mr. McConnell had been the party whip while Senator Bill Frist of Tennessee was party leader. Mr. Frist is retiring from the Senate.

Senator Lott’s return to leadership may be a reflection of the Republicans’ sudden discomfort at being in the minority, and their desire to have an effective tactician as they try to outmaneuver Democrats and work to regain the majority in the elections two years from now.

Our snooping closet-hiding trolls "investigative journalists" here at the Crush Liberalism Objective World News Service (CLOWNS) found some discarded notes from Senator Lott's acceptance speech. Excerpts follow:

"I'm more than excited about resuming leadership within the party. What made me change my mind and decide to get back into the swing of things? I would say that it was nothing more than the shining example provided by my colleague from Connecticut, the esteemed Chris Dodd.

See, back in early 2002, everyone had a cow over my effusing of praise on the since-croaked Strom Thurmond. Presumably because Strom had once been a segregationist bigot, I guess. Anywho, just two short years after my purported 'faux pas', ol' Chris Dodd decided to put political differences aside and help a dear friend out in a rare display of bipartisan sportsmanship: he gushed praise upon Senator Robert "Sheets" Byrd (KKK-WV)!

Yes, sir! Chris said that Sheets "would have been a great senator at any moment....you would have been right at the founding of this country, right during the Civil War....I can't think of a single moment in this nation's 220+ year history where you would not have been a valuable asset to this country." I'm guessing that Sheets' tour of duty with the WV Klan falls within that "single moment in this nation's 220+ year history" timeline, right?

I can even thrown in an 'Attagirl!' to my esteemed colleague from NY, Her Highness Hillary, for similarly flattering Sheets, too. But you get the point, right? Now that Chris and Hill have made statements that were identical to mine in context and in target (not totally true, since Strom was never in the Klan), and both of them have weathered the media storm that was certain to be as intense as it was when I praised Strom, they have effectively demonstrated that the MSM will be fair henceforth on such matters...and I am certain I won't be asked ever again about my 'Strom comments'! Thanks, my friends!

(Looking at staffers...) Hey...what's so damned funny?"

What would the news be like without CLOWNS informing us?