Monday, April 23, 2007

UPDATED: Sheryl Crow's answer to global warming: wipe your pooper with one square!


Why Hollyweirdos are better seen and not heard. Well, she makes a living singing, so she has to be heard, but you get my drift. Anywho, from Lance Armstrong's ex, via Hot Air:
Green earth = brown hand!
Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who’s judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, “how bout just washing the one square out.”

Hey, it’s “think globally, act locally,” not “think globally, act locally except for your pooper.”

Exit question one: Just how, um, tidy are Sheryl Crow’s evacuations that one thin square of toilet paper is enough to do the trick? You think the Goracle gets by with one?

Sheryl may trust her brother's judgment, but I certainly don't. Not if he's telling me to wipe with one square and rinse it off afterwards! I'd like to think she's joking, but with these Hollyweirdo types, you can never be certain.

Come on, just knew I'd be back to my juvenile self in no time.

UPDATE (4/23/2003 - 9:53 A.M. EST): While Crow is imploring us to use one square of TP for our bungholes in order to keep the planet from baking, she has no objections to having four carbon-spewing tour busses, three gas-guzzling tractor-trailers, and six cars for her own personal usage. I tell you, between her and Gore and the Silky Pony living the energy-gorging lifestyles they tell us is killing the planet, they certainly don't seem too concerned about it...ergo, why should we be?

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