Dems' theme songs

The AP is reporting that the 2008 Democrat candidates for the White House have selected their theme songs. The muckraking thinktank white trash "investigative journalists" here at the Crush Liberalism Objective World News Service (aka CLOWNS) discovered some suggestions that the candidates' staffers had put together, all of which were ultimately rejected.

John Edwards: "Lawyers in Love" by Jackson Browne; "Shakedown" by Bob Seger; "Loser" by Beck.

Sen. Chris Dodd of Connecticut: any song by The Waitresses (click here for explanation).

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York: "The Bitch is Back" by Elton John; "This Land is MY Land" by Woody Guthrie; "Hippychick" by Soho; and "I am Woman" by Helen Reddy (thus playing on her "elect me because I lack a Y chromosome" motif).

Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio: "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley; "Insane in the Brain" by Cypress Hill; "Everybody Must Get Stoned" by Bob Dylan.

Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois: "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton; "Everybody Must Get Stoned" by Bob Dylan (his staffers heard that Kucinich had rejected it); "Empty Suit" by Stone Lyrics.

The news contained above is as valid as a CBS memo, my friends...all thanks to CLOWNS!